Really, I’m flattered. You continue to send me catalogs like clockwork, though my most recent order from any of you was probably two years ago. I could have papered my house with what you’ve sent me in the past year. And even though I live in a hip, urban neighborhood [thus hitting your target demos square on the nose], I have a fairly large-sized house.
But here’s the thing. Every model in your catalogs is oh, say, 5′10″ and willowy. I’m sure some are taller. And even before I got pregnant, I was 5′2″ and what we like to call “curvy.” [That's happy-talk for what my doctor more bluntly terms "could stand to lose 20 pounds."] Back in the day, pre-that-20-pounds, I still wasn’t the 5′2″ version of willowy. The curvy moniker frankly works pretty well for me.
So as much as I’d like to think I’m going to look just as awesome in your clothes as your catalog models do, it ain’t gonna happen, my friends. Please, send your catalogs to my sister [who, bless her heart, is the 5'1" version of willowy] or some other skinny soul.
As for me, I feel sure there is a catalog out there for someone like me, who would love to look hip, as long as it requires no effort on my part, and does involve comfortable clothes that fit, but who will otherwise continue to shop at Lands’ End and Eddie Bauer until that day comes.
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