The past couple of days have provided me with a lot of food for thought. I’m still processing things over here. So I suspect this will read a bit random — it feels that way in my head still.

I was in one of the first classes in my home county that was integrated all the way through school. My mother taught at the black high school in our hometown [in West Tennessee] until the year before I was born, when it became the junior high for all students. Not until very recently in my life did I really get the significance of any of that. I mean, I always knew these things. But the kids in my class got along pretty well — better than you might expect given the very recent history our parents and older brothers and sisters had witnessed in the 60s. The 9yo has several great kids’ books about civil rights. When we started reading about Ruby Bridges, the girl who integrated the New Orleans public schools, the timeline hit me. That happened just 10 years before I was born. In the next 10 years, schools throughout the South integrated. When you’re growing up, even the recent past feels like ancient history. Just in the past five years have I realized how closely the Civil Rights period is to my own history, both in time and place.

All that to say, I feel privileged to see Obama’s victory. It’s been interesting to hear commentators debate whether the victory reflects a change in America, or will cause a change in America, or what. I guess it’s easy to say “Both,” but that would be my quick answer.

And I’m encouraged by so much of what Obama seems to be about. I voted for him, but I don’t agree with him on everything. I’m more fiscally conservative. But what I find so compelling about him has nothing to do with policy and everything to do with attitude. I believe he’s 100 percent sincere in his desire to unify the country. I don’t think it’s a political calculation. I’ve been accused of being cynical before, though I feel like now I’m really pretty average on that scale. I don’t think my attitude has changed. I see so many people — both sides of the aisle and all across the political spectrum — who are angered and bitter over the political process in this country. I can’t think of any other politician who could even hope to affect that situation. But I have hope that Obama can.

Yet. And yet.

So much of it depends on us. That’s the conservative viewpoint, anyway, right? The government can’t fix our problems — that’s up to us. We have to be willing to let go of the bitterness and cynicism. The fear of each other. That’s what really gets me. We have let — who, I don’t know. The media? Ambitious politicians? Radio talk-show hosts? — people convince us that other Americans are to be feared. That we are not in this together. That people with a different skin color, a different religion, whose parents came here from another country, who are in a different political party or go to a different church — that these people are the ones to fear.

Fear has got to be the most negative emotion. Can you have hate without fear? I’m not sure you can. But look at the things fear makes people do. It’s made some of us believe that we know better how to be an American than others. That we can tell by someone’s hometown or their religion or profession if they’re a real patriot.

We have to let go of those prejudices and our fear on our own. We cannot hope to move America in a positive direction if we continue to attack each other. We have to work together to find the common goals we can believe in, and then push hard to achieve them. I hesitate to even say this out loud, but I think that many of the issues that divide us are not ones we should even discuss in the political arena. Clearly we’re not solving questions about abortion or gay marriage there. What if we just left them out of political discussions? What if we acknowledged that some things are only answered by religion, or moral guidelines? My answer to those questions will be different from yours. Those who would try to respond to these questions with a blanket answer, and put the force of government behind their viewpoints, divide us. The ability to say, “There may be another way,” is critical to living well with others in a free society.

We have to re-develop the ability to trust each other, and put our faith in the ability of Americans to overcome this economic and political malaise that’s gripping us. Yes, we can.

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